Never stop praying. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
Recently, I had a brief but impactful conversation with an elderly woman I barely know. She confessed to currently lacking a passion for God. It's not that her belief had waned. It's not that her health had declined. She was careful not to use her advanced age as an excuse. She seemed somewhat dismayed by her lack of passion, yet committed to running the race, to staying the course.
Oh, how I share in her dismay. I have experienced the unspeakable joy of being utterly and competely in love with Jesus, but also the agony of feeling completely disconnected from Him. Right now, I am somehwere in the middle. While I know that Jesus is my desperately-needed Savior and I will never regard Him as otherwise, I also know that when it comes to keeping Jesus in the fore of my heart and mind, I fail time and again.
I can't speak for my fellow traveller, but I find that one of my stumbling blocks is that I tend to unnecessarily complicate my relationship with Jesus. I too often assume that if I'm not on fire for Him, then I'm not suited to be anything for Him. If I'm not actively and enthusiastically pursuing a lofty, high-profile purpose for God, then whatever I'm doing must be a colossal waste of time. If I'm not "feeling it," then there must be something wrong with me. These things pile up and I begin to feel guilty or unworthy, causing me to dstance myself from Jesus. Distance makes communication difficult, and as we all know, any relationship (including one with Jesus) depends on communication.
Our wonderful worship leader, Debbie Alexander, is fond of advising vocalists in her charge to "stay in the chord." My vocal range is best suited for the alto section, but I totally lack any natural ability to harmonize. It takes work for me to stay in the harmony, rather than slip into the familiar lines of melody reserved for my soprano sisters. But Deb's point is that as long I stay in the chord, even though it's not perfect, it will still sound good.
Jesus wants us to share all of our lives with Him, not just our endless praises and passionate petitions, not just our highest of highs and lowest of lows.. Just as in human relationships, we are motivated to have those hearfelt talks when emotions are high. But when we find ourselves in the middle, in a "not bad but not great" season of life, it's easier to keep quiet or to stick with the superficial. But without our authentic voices, part of the chord is missing. We can't sing a duet with Jesus if our mouths are closed.
We don't always have to be "feeling it." Like it or not, we're not always going to be on fire for God. All He asks is that we don't stop talking to Him. All He asks is that we stay in the chord.
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