Only a Little Longer

"My children, I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and just as I told the Jews, so I tell you now: Where I am going, you cannot come." (John 13:33)

It’s difficult to imagine what it must have been like to be alive and in the company of Jesus when He walked the earth. To see those gentle hands healing the sick, to hear that strong voice speaking God’s very own Word, to have those piercing eyes see all the way to one's soul with a love that surpasses understanding…it gives me chills. Sharing a meal and the very air we breathe with the Son of God – what could be more enthralling for a common man or woman?

It may be impossible for me to know how I would have felt to have been in the shoes of one of the disciples, but I can imagine reacting the way Peter did to the above words of Jesus. I’m certain most of the disciples felt a mixture of sadness, confusion and anxiety when Jesus told them that He would be leaving them to go to a place none of them could come. Being in the company of Jesus full-time was an experience that compared to nothing else. It was eye-opening and life-altering. Why was He going to be leaving soon? Where was He going? Why couldn’t they come along? What were they supposed to do in His absence? How could life ever be the same? He had taught them much about what it means to love one another, about trusting in God, but how could they carry on without Him there? Inquiring minds wanted to know, and Peter wasted no time in asking.

I see much of Peter’s human tendencies in myself. Like many of us, Peter sometimes got a little bit too big for his britches. I think he felt disappointed that Jesus didn’t trust him enough to share this "insider" information with him. I can almost picture Peter leaning close to Jesus and whispering, "Hey, it’s me, your best bud. I can see how you wouldn’t want the others to know, but you can tell me. Better yet, take me with you!" How deflated and even offended Peter must have felt when Jesus told him that he would deny Him three times. And how utterly devastated Peter later felt when it turned out to be true.

You and I understand that Jesus was speaking of His impending crucifixion and resurrection, something that He alone had to do in order to pave the way for us to eventually follow and have a home in heaven. Oh, but how hard it must have been for the disciples at that moment. I can imagine myself pleading, "Lord, please don’t leave us!" You and I have the Holy Spirit alive in us to guide our way, but we have never seen Jesus in the flesh. The disciples did not yet possess the Holy Spirit, but they experienced God incarnate, the Word breathing the very same air. I sympathize with the disciples: Sharing earthly space with the Lord Jesus is simply not something anyone would ever want to let go of.

I am so thankful that when I look for Jesus, I will always find Him, dwelling within me and preparing a place for me in Glory. I am thankful that He saved me from the eternal punishment of my sins, forever tearing the veil separating me from God. One day, we'll get to hold those gentle hands, to hear that strong voice, and to see those piercing eyes in the splendid glory of our Father's house...all because He chose the cross for us.