"If My people who are called by My name put away their pride and pray, and look for My face, and turn from their sinful ways, then I will hear from heaven. I will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14)
We’ve all heard the saying, "It’s easier to forgive an enemy than a friend," something I’m sure many of us have found to be true in our lives. We expect people we know and trust to always treat us well, to never hurt or betray us. When they do, the hurt and betrayal are felt more deeply. But what about forgiving ourselves? I don’t know about you, but I tend to expect more from myself than anyone else. I know what I’m capable of, so I know what to expect of myself. When I make a mistake, when I commit a sin of some kind, it disappoints me greatly, sometimes to the extent that I hold a grudge against myself. Can you relate?
I recently read a story from an inmate who is serving a life sentence for murdering his wife. He has accepted responsibility for what he’s done, and he has accepted salvation through Christ, but he cannot find it in him to forgive himself. Not only did he kill his wife, but he also used and abused countless people in order to facilitate his drug addiction. All of this was a heavy emotional burden for a man already enduring the precarious reality of life behind bars. With the encouragement of a Christian sponsor, this man finally came to the realization that he was being selfish. By refusing to forgive himself – when Jesus already had – he was denying both of them the fullness of a relationship God intends for us all.
If we are unable to forgive ourselves for past sin, we are in essence denying what Christ did for us on the cross. We are claiming a wisdom and judgment above God Himself. God formed us in His image, to glorify Him and to accomplish His will on the earth that He created. He loves us so much that He sacrificed His one and only son on our behalf, so that we may be forgiven and redeemed. If God thinks enough of us to forgive us the sins that required Christ’s sacrifice, then is it not appropriate for us to forgive ourselves? Forgiving sin does not erase its impact. We all have a duty to learn from our mistakes, so that we may follow the Lord more closely. But dwelling on those mistakes – and our "rottenness" for committing them – only keeps us separated from a loving God who gave everything to be with us.
Is there a sin for which you haven’t forgiven yourself? Have you made such a terrible mistake, hurt someone so badly, that you wear it like a scarlet letter? God commands us to forgive one another, but "one another" includes oneself. All our sins - even the ones we deem unforgivable - were nailed to the cross long ago. It's time we left them there and joined Christ in a life redeemed through Him. I may not have murdered anyone, but among the many sins of which I'm guilty is refusing to forgive myself for past wrongs. When Jesus appeared to the disciples after Calvary, His scars were present, but the sins that caused them had been erased. Our perfect God forgives His imperfect, but repentent children. It's time we dare to forgive ourselves.
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