There are many aspects of the crucifixion of Jesus that are haunting, too many even to list. Despite the beauty of God's ultimate sacrifice on our behalf, the event itself is eerie, disturbing and viscerally painful, as it should be. Such a monumental sacrifice, the ultimate act upon which our redemption is born, cannot by its very nature be palatable. Sin is ugly, and the culmination of the sin of humanity in its entirety goes beyond anything that ugliness could suggest.
For me, the most haunting aspect of the crucifixion has always been Jesus' question to God, "Why have you forsaken me?" When you momentarily disregard the visceral aspects of the crucifixion (if such a thing is possible), the question is perplexing from a logical standpoint. Jesus knew what He would face on the cross long before He arrived there. He knew how awful it would be, yet He also understood both the importance and the ultimate benefit of it. Did He truly feel abandoned by God, even though He knew that He would soon be reunited with His Father? If so, what does that mean?
I had always reasoned this to mean that God cannot be in the presence of sin, therefore He could not be present with Jesus while He was bodily taking upon Himself the sins of the world. But Jesus understood this, so it still does not explain His question. Perhaps there is another explanation that beautifully clarifies Jesus' question, yet makes it no less haunting.
The explanation? God purposefully allowed Jesus to truly feel forsaken because we know what that feels like. After all, Jesus was sent to earth in human form not just to minister to the sinful and broken, not just to preach the news of God's kingdom with His own lips, but also to experience the human condition. God wants us to know that He gets what it's like to be us. He wants us to know that He understands what we face - the good, the bad and the truly awful. He wants us to know that He gets it, and He has a way for us to overcome it.
Who among us has not felt forsaken by God at one point or another? I know I have. What would Jesus' "human-ness" mean if He had not also felt forsaken, as we do? How would He fully understand the human condition if He did not also feel abandoned by God? Physical pain can be horrific - the word "excruciating" clearly indicates Jesus' understanding of that - but there is perhaps no pain worse than feeling abandoned by God when you need Him most. I have known that feeling, and it is equally heart-breaking and reassuring to accept that Jesus knows it, too. He felt it because I do, because you do.
In our darkest times, when it feels as though God is unreachable, as though He could not possibly know or want to know what we are suffering through, we need only remember that He knows all too well. Jesus was sacrificed for our redemption, but that was not all He did for us in His life on earth and in His crucifixion. He felt everything that we feel, no matter how hard or unspeakable, so that we may know one important truth: God gets it and He wants to heal it. He cares so much for us that He not only allowed His beloved Son to be sacrificed on the cross, but He also allowed Jesus to feel abandoned in the midst of that sacrifice. If that does not speak to the depth of God's love for us, nothing can. In the end, we can trust that just like Jesus, we will one day be delivered into our Father's hands and any feelings of abandonment will be replaced by unspeakable joy. Amen!
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