Thoughts on Forgiveness

If the wounds of millions are to be healed, what other way is there except through forgiveness? ~ Catherine Marshall

Forgiveness...If ever there was a topic to stir debate and emotion, it is this one. It is one of the single most important concepts in the Christian faith (and many other belief systems), yet it is as clear as mud for many. I suspect that there are as many definitions for the word forgiveness as there are people on the planet. In a recent discussion of this topic, a family member spoke of the forgiveness of murderers, rapists and other outcasts of society. He said, "Yes, we should forgive them, but they still need to die." Others of us around the table laughed at the contradiction in his statement, but he didn't get the joke. To him, forgiveness has boundaries.

My loved one is certainly not alone, is he? Whether we want to admit it or not, we all have parameters we construct to make the practice of forgiveness fit more neatly into our lives. We all create loopholes based on circumstances we deem inexcusable. The old saying, 'it's easier to forgive an enemy than a friend' has some basis in truth, doesn't it? I was once hurt terribly by an "outcast" I barely knew, but I was able to forgive that person much more quickly than loved ones who had hurt me much less severely. Is the person who hurt me badly more deserving of my forgiveness? Are loved ones who hurt me mildly any less deserving of it?

Therein lies the problem. Jesus never said, "Follow this three-tiered system for forgiveness: If so-and-so falls into category 1, then they deserve your full forgiveness immediately. If so-and-so falls into category 2, then they still deserve forgiveness, but make them sweat it out a while. And if so-and-so falls into category 3, well, I'm sorry but forgiveness does not apply." Jesus calls on us to forgive always, in all circumstances. He calls us to forgive "seven times seventy." No boundaries. No loopholes.

The next time I grapple with my obligation to forgive someone, I need only remember that my sins, the hurt I have caused, are part of the suffering Jesus experienced on the cross, and the reason He died and rose again. Without the forgiveness Jesus gave us on the cross, we would be sentenced to eternal separation from God. If I can be forgiven for playing a part in killing God's only Son, then surely I can forgive one of His children for hurting me. And knowing that Jesus did all this so I could live fully in Him, surely I can also forgive myself. Amen?

It's not easy, but then...what was it Mom always said? Nothing worthwhile ever is.